Don't Judge Me.

Conformity: action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc. -dictionary.com

In what areas of your life do you conform to? Why, what makes you conform? 

I am certain no one can escape the fact that everyone has been, will be, is conformed in some way to something. There are too many forms of conditioning in the world to escape it. Since we all tend to live busy, or otherwise distracted lives, we may have areas that we allow others to do our thinking and decision-making for us.

Now, let me begin with saying, I am not a Jehovah's Witness. = ) No offense intended, but I am one that really dislikes most of our holidays. I hate Christmas, can't stand Easter, I find Valentine's Day insulting, I disagree with Halloween. I ask that you not judge me. I am being honest. I encourage you to accept me as I am, as just another perspective in the world. My purpose is to get you thinking "out of the box." 

Halloween is just a couple days away. I can't, and won't lie, I like dressing up. Dressing up out of the norm, wearing things I wouldn't normally wear. Taking advantage since I tend to avoid attention in my everyday life. I feel bad for my kids when I keep them from participating, so I'll take them out or allow them to give out candy. When I am not with my kids, I work and take advantage of the change of pace. But every year I feel like I conform against what I really want to do. I conform from standing strong in what I believe. 

There is a pressure I feel that works against me and what I really want to do. This feeling of extremism, as well as a feeling of being left out of something everyone else finds no problem being apart of. Maybe, due to my avoidance of attention, I feel that I get negative attention. Then when it comes to my children, this is all I wouldn't want them to deal with.

This is all very embarrassing to admit but it expresses a force very real that all of us are exposed to. I hope that it doesn't close your mind to my central message: What do you conform to? Do you recognize similar feelings in any part of your life? I challenge you to be you! No matter the resistance. Why do we all have to be the same, think the same, act the same?! 

This year, I am going to be me, and refuse to conform. It is always best to replace a negative with a positive, so that is my intention. I decided my boys and I will dress up extravagantly, bake a soup in a pumpkin (pray for us! First timers here!), and build something that could be of use to someone somewhere. I am actually very excited about it!!

Welcome

I would like to officially WELCOME all of you to my blog, Angel G.'s Writings!! A place to provoke and challenge thoughts and action in the world! The place to DISCUSS issues from all angles, and from all perspectives. 

I am a writer at heart, but I am not satisfied with just throwing out my opinion superficially. Seems we have enough of that already, don't you think? What good does it really do?! 
= ) And, I am too excited to get to know all of you in the process! 

The previous 7 posts were challenges given by the talented Alex Beadon. A great opportunity to take advantage of and start something I had been considering for quite a while. I opened myself up a little bit in different areas, showing you pieces of me... 

BUT NOW is the beginning!! What I'd like to do is pierce into the thick layer of accumulated bandages that have been covering up wounds for way too long. I think it is about time to expose them, and allow them to heal from the inside out. Don't you? 

No matter who you are and where you are at, in any aspect of life, I know you have to be seeing, hearing, feeling things that are just not right in our world. If you don't, you are deluding yourself, and it isn't cute. 

That's like never brushing your teeth. Maybe now and then you'll care to take out a toothbrush. But then, all of a sudden, you start losing all your teeth, rotting from the inside out. You can't eat like you used to and life is hard. Why did this have to happen? How did this happen?!

I'm just saying, does it really do anyone, including yourself, any good to remain comfortable and distracted? Willingly believing lies because it makes you feel better; like those from an unfaithful lover? (You know he's just saying that to fuck you and go straight to the next girl, right?)

I will be posting every Wednesday. Throughout the week, we can discuss any and all agreements, disagreements, suggestions, rants, encouragements, etc. in the comments. Please don't be shy, and I ask that you all be courteous and respectful to one another. No one is faced with the same issue in the same way as another person. We should be understanding and respond to each other wisely... = ) I know I live in a "fantasy world," but this is what I'd like to ask of you. I will greatly appreciate it. 

For this first week, my question for you is:

Do you vote?

Why or why not?

*Right now, I am not eligible to vote due to my record, but I have voted in the past. When I did vote, I felt like my vote was insignificant since it seems that the "powers that be" get their way anyway. Despite my feelings about it, I did feel it was my responsibility to put my "two cents" in. That changed for me when I was pleasantly surprised by a regulation that was being put into effect that touched the lives of my loved ones. I felt that my vote put some weight on it, no matter how insignificant it was. And I can only imagine how much different it would have been if I didn't vote that day, or the others who shared my vote. 

Feel Good Blogging Challenge: Doesn't Seem Like A Fair Trade.

"They who can give up essential liberty, to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." -Benjamin Franklin

History can be a sensitive issue for some. Some hate it because there are many cases it has been fabricated and deceptive. Some could care less either way; what does any of that have to do with now? Some appreciate the value that can be found when it is discovered in its truth. It holds treasure in discovering where you come from; and it gives insight to avoid making the same mistakes. 

More often than not, a lie stems from a truth. The need to lie comes to surface when a truth needs to be covered up. My point here is that it is very possible to find truth, even when fabrications exist. I am a true believer that all things come to light. Maybe not right away, but always in due time. 

When you look into history, even our recent history, you can see instances where people do sell freedom for safety. Some have made the trade, finding it is worth it to submit for their lives, and the lives of their family. But many times, a dominating group of people will willingly sell the freedom of another group of people, to attain safety of their own.  

"Whenever we are attacked, people are willing to give up someone else's liberties for their own security." -Andrew P. Napolitano

I can name these periods in history, but I feel that it is unnecessary at the moment. I am sure at least one or two will come to mind. But, let me ask you, "would you be willing to give up your liberties for safety? Would you be willing to take someone else's liberties for your own safety?"

Fear makes people do crazy things, would you not agree? Even when it's in your mind, after watching a movie, you'll go around your house a million times to make sure it is all locked up and keep the lights on all night. = ) I say that because, I have. I hate the feeling of fear. I feel it is highly irrational. Above all, I think it makes us highly predictable... 

Why force people to make a move when they can be manipulated into doing so? Have people asking for what "they" want us to have? "They" want us to give up our right to own weapons, we will ask for "them" to take our right to have weapons, in order to stay safe. "They" want us to single out a group of people, "they'll" give us a reason to single out a group of people, for our safety. "They" want us to document our every move in a chip, we will willingly use a chip, to ensure our safety. It all seems very reasonable being that it is for our safety, right? 

"The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion." -Edmund Burke

If it is so reasonable, then what is my problem? The problem is my problem. Where did the problem originate that we need to find a solution for our safety? That is where we can find a hint on what the deal is. The war on drugs incarcerated 10's of thousands of colored people, the majority being Black, yet Marijuana is on the verge of being legalized. (That is definitely a topic for another day!!) Our food supply is debilitating the masses, yet, who is regulating that "for our well-being?" We only know the information media news feeds us, now, who is regulating that? The same coverage varying slightly in personality, on every channel.

Fear is being used to delude and manipulate the masses into giving up liberties for safety. It has been happening very subtly, but if you take and consider all the pieces together, the pieces will start fitting in. Sadly, there are many people willing to do it without having to be manipulated to do so.

"Design your words and images to stir basic emotions - lust, patriotism, family values. It is easier to gain and hold people's attention once you have made them think of their family, their children, their future. They feel stirred, uplifted. Now you have their attention and the space to insinuate your true message...  

Instead of trying to change people's ideas, try to change their identity, their perception of reality, and you will have far more control of them in the long run. Tell them who they are, create an image, an identity that they will want to assume... At the same time, you want to change their perception of the world outside them by controlling what they look at. Use as many media as possible to create a kind of total environment for their perceptions. Your image should be seen not as an advertisement but as part of the atmosphere." (The Art of Seduction, pg 444-446)

Feel Good Blogging Challenge: The Internal Struggle

I've been at war with depression since I was about 12 years old. I cannot clearly explain the change because I don't understand it myself, but all of a sudden, I would have fits of emotion that would isolate and torment me. It only took about a couple years for me to flirt with suicide, and a couple more years after that to actually attempt it. 

I was highly self-conscious. I experienced high levels of social anxiety. Extreme self-doubt and low self-esteem. I hated myself for being so socially awkward and insecure. Often times, I felt there was no place for me, no use for me, no point in dragging my loved ones down. 

It has been a long journey since my adolescent years. I am currently 31 years old, and today, I can honestly say that I have a strong hold over my depression and how it affects me. I am not a fan of medication, and collectively, I have about less than a year with some type of psychiatric counsel. 

My grandmother was a strong, faithful woman. One thing no one can argue with, is her level of commitment to the truth she believed in. Because of this fact, and this blessing, I grew up with a source of spirituality. My personal relationship with God in my truth has helped me so much, whether I was able to realize it at the time or not. My belief that all things have a purpose kept me holding on and pushing forward in my life. There must be a reason why He made me this way. I don't understand, but He must know what He's doing. 

"You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards." -Steve Jobs 

Overcoming depression took years of hard work and reliance on a higher power. I read many psychology books to rewire my thinking, personal development books to believe in myself and gain self-confidence, spiritual books to pick me up when I'd get weary and to strengthen my faith. My husband has been a tremendous blessing, revealing blind spots that I couldn't see obstructing my progress. 

The most significant leaps in overcoming came when I discovered the root of my depression. I began my journey towards self-love, along with self-acceptance, and from there, I found self-forgiveness. That is where I find myself now. Forgiveness for what? I have no idea, but when I focus on that, it allows me to forget all that was and focus on what now can be. 

Honestly, this has always been an embarrassing issue for me, but with focusing on forgiving myself, I am overcoming that "shame." It is what it is, and it must be for a reason. When I've opened up to the very few I have opened up to, I realize that I am not alone in this struggle. Maybe what I've battled can inspire some hope. That what you may be dealing with today that seems so steep and concrete, can one day be pebbles under your feet.   

Feel Good Blogging Challenge: ...You Can Only Control Yourself.

“You can never control other people. You can only control yourself.” –Kimora Lee Simmons

Though many people do, I have never been one to want to control others. What has touched my life in a very significant way is, “you can only control yourself.” My life has been filled with obstacles of all kinds. Some not even patient enough to wait their turn. I am sure that many, if not all, can relate. 

In any way that an obstacle should present itself, the way you confront it and handle it will determine the results and effects. "If only" type thinking will get no one nowhere. Forcing a resolve has the potential of coming right back and smacking you in the face, or creating a situation bigger than what you originally had to deal with. 

Taking yourself into consideration: Do you like to be controlled? Do you like to be told what to do? Do you like to be told that you are wrong? Do you like to have someone impose a course of action on you? What is your reaction to someone's attempts to do so? 

People are going to do what they do. They have their own reasons and backgrounds to why they make the decisions they make; just as you do. Maybe you can get someone to go along with it, but unless it is coming from a genuine place within themselves, you can be sure that they will eventually run off course. The best thing to do is to anticipate what it is and make the adjustments within yourself.

For example, consider you have a family member who is constantly negative and has the tendency of bringing your spirits down when you are around them. The best course of action would be to stay away, or bring the positivity yourself. The bottom line is: you have the control to how you are affected, as well as the possibility of influencing a change. 

The type of situations this quote has helped me with most in my life, are situations where circumstance are the determining factor. One major situation very present to me every minute of every day, is my husband being in prison; he has been since 2009. Currently, it is up to God whether he gets out sooner than later. (The details are irrelevant at the moment.) Most of the time I am strong and I can handle the forced separation along with all that is included. But, there are times I want to force someone to let him out. It is so frustrating and infuriating when you do not have any type of control over a situation. 

"I wanna scream. To cry until something moves. Moving the world off its axis. Changing the world and everything in it. God sees every tear? Are all mine in vain? Not all these chains are mentally placed... Only You know..." -07/04/14

Whenever you find yourself without any type of control over any type of situation, you DO have control over yourself. It may take some work; getting to know who you are to the core and what makes you tick. But it is all worth it when you are able to find peace in you, in your world. Many things we are not meant to control, but we are meant to control how we respond to it. 

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it." -Lou Holtz

Feel Good Blogging Challenge: 10 Things About Me

Today, you are going to get to know a bit about me that my family may not even know! Oh, how exciting!! Enjoy!

1) I own a piano that I can't play, simply because I LOVE piano music. I've had it for about 7 years. It is a great blessing that, recently, my oldest son has been learning to play by an exceptional music teacher.  

2) I dry my flowers. I hate that they die. So, when they're at their prime, I hang them up or smash them in books. I love the feeling of finding a preserved flower in a book that I totally forgot about. 

3) I sing. Mostly when no one is around, though I am completely comfortable around my children. I was part of a singing group through church with my incredibly talented friend Koko Venegas (check her out, she's AMAZING!!), and I've done solos and duets in church as well. This was all in 2005/2006, but since then, singing has become a need of some sort. Like a drug. = ) I love it... But I'm not the best; I'm not claiming any great talent or gift, though I'm not the worst either.

4) I love working with numbers, but I am nowhere near a math whiz. Numbers in my head move around a lot and switch up on me. I have to write them down, which is ok because I love writing numbers down and organizing them.

5)  I am a reluctant Twilight saga fan. The movies are nowhere near the books, by the way. I mostly enjoy the love story.

6) I hate zombies!! Can't stand them. The World War Z zombies are the exception, but other than that, they make no kinda' sense. 

7) I love dancing. I'm not a great dancer, but I do what I do, and I enjoy it! Going to the middle of a crowd and dance by myself, when I don't have a partner.   

8) Within the last couple of years, I've developed a mild germ phobia. Not fun and a bit distressing. 

9) Sea turtles are my favorite animal. I love a few animals, but these are at the top.

10) I love swimming in waves. I enjoy it more than going to any water park. 

To those of you who are not participating in the challenge, I ask that you comment with 2 things about you you wouldn't mind sharing. It will be nice getting to know a little bit about you as well. 

EMBRACE ALL THAT MAKES YOU, YOU!!  

Feel Good Blogging Challenge:Taking a Stand With Your Dollar

Most of us rely on businesses to supply our needs and desires. When a business is conveniently placed, conveniently structured, as well as conveniently priced, why go anywhere else? 

Awareness of their business practices and reputation causes disappointment, anger, and possibly disgust, among other responses. How can they do this? Why do they do this? Don't they see their effect?! But life continues. 

You have your own business to attend to, family, stresses, events, timelines. When the need or desire arises, that business is conveniently there for YOU. Right now you don't have the time, you don't have the energy, and you don't have the money. Once in awhile you are confronted with the reality of your contribution to their effect, but life can always be depended on to move you forward. So you conform; out of sight, out of mind.

This is a cycle you can break free from! Yes, everyday life is your struggle, but so is the struggle in the world. Do you breath air? Do you drink water? How long can we really remain comfortable and nonchalant with this out of sight, out of mind mentality? Do we need to wait until it is right in front of us? Does it need to touch us?

Determination and adjustments. Set your mind to remain strong in your resolve. You don't want to contribute with your patronage? Don't! It'll take some time to get used to the adjustments and substitutes, but you will adjust.

There are a few organizations that I refuse, and no longer patronize to. The toughest one to cut off was Wal-Mart. I had heard things I didn't agree with, but found myself repeatedly going there for everything. Why not, right? New services, as well as established services, I took advantage of. Balls were falling all over the place in different departments. Through my eyes, they became incompetent and offensive...

So sad that it took me to be offended and angry to take a stand, and make a change in my life. I know many of you are a lot stronger, decisive, and determined than I was when it comes to how you represent you and yours with your dollar. Taking righteous action to stand up for the tangible and intangible well-being of yourself, your loved ones, and the world you live in.

Feel Good Blogging Challenge: Passion!! My Driving Force.

I've written many papers during my education. For this particular assignment, I was free to write on any topic I wanted. Over-ambitious, I decided to write on how I was seeing lies being projected into our lives. Therefore, I produced the most stressful paper I had ever written: "Battle of the Mind." Stressful, because I found it difficult to materialize the thoughts I wanted to express... But when it was completed, I felt truly accomplished, and proud; to attain, to share a piece of me I was unable to express in any other way.

I cannot tell you with certainty where I got it from, but it has always been hard for me to understand the hate, the exploitation, the bias, the bigotry, the hypocrisy, the deception, etc., that exists in the world. I, personally, cannot claim I've experienced much of it, but just enough. Just enough to know it is real, and that all it takes to get on the "bad side" of the spectrum is simply falling out of line; that no one is actually immune.

I am a Mexican-American; a decedent of Indian and Spanish blood. My sons are half Mexican and Pakistani. My husband is African American and Cherokee. As you can observe, I see no color lines... But this world, this place I will be leaving my future generations, is not a place I feel comfortable leaving them behind in. 

To be honest, I find it difficult to pinpoint my passion. Truth and Justice! Strength and Integrity! Love! Those are concepts that excite me!! 

Feel Good Blogging Challenge: Simple Introduction... To Angel G.'s Writings

Hello! My name is Angel G. I am a writer, a student, an aspiring entrepreneur, a truth-seeker, an egalitarian, a free mind, and a free spirit. I strive to see this world for what it is, to make it better and leave it better. I love to read nonfiction, personal development, biographies, urban fiction, poetry, and very few fiction novels. I love to learn! I love the beach, trees, and mountains, but nature altogether. I am from, and currently live, in Southern California. My favorite thing about myself is that I am stubborn and determined. For the longest time it caused me pain and confusion since it seemed to get me in trouble and caused me to push against the grain. Now, I appreciate it because it wouldn't allow me to be anything other than who I truly am.

I started blogging today to take on the challenge presented by the lovely Alex Beadon. Within the last year, events have taken place that threw the pieces of my life up in the air. Now that I can take the pieces I want and arrange them as I wish, I've decided to follow my passion: to write. Since I don't have the professional experience in this industry, I've considered blogging as a vital, productive, evolutionary tool of expressing myself and who I am as a writer. Above all, I'd like to connect with minds that can develop compelling discussions. 

My blog is for anyone who is interested, and can benefit from my perspective and experiences. Those who desire to look behind the scenes of performances, that not only distract and entertain us, but also causes barriers and inhibitions within ourselves and others. I am very curious and excited to see the demographics of those I do attract. I'd like to promote and encourage strength, wisdom, perseverance, equality, unity, well-being, resilience, freedom, and independence.

My current project is getting a foundation established for my career as a writer and speaker. My first book will be "A Common Enemy" that has been a long time coming! A nonfiction explanatory piece that will take problems and reduce them to their common denominator, exposing that "common enemy." The journey of writing this book is one that I will share with all of you. 

Inspiration!! Inspiration is my goal. Everyone has a different level of awareness, so my message may impact people differently. Whichever level you may find yourself, I hope to inspire you to: 
open your minds a little bit more,
step out of your comfort zone a little bit more, 
face dark corners within yourself, in your life, in your world, 
take action, 
grow in compassion and unity.
I want you to be personally inspired, and feel encouraged to follow that inspiration.