Sting of Truth Over Sweet Lies

I highly abhor being lied to. I can't pinpoint where this comes from, but I suspect it comes from a complex I have of being stupid. When I am lied to, it offends me that the liar views me as stupid or unable to accept the truth. They take it upon themselves to tell me what I want or need to know. 

I appreciate and value honesty and truth. Knowing what is, in its actuality, allows me to deal with a situation in an effective way. I am able to be confident in decisions I make and why I make them. 

Truth may be hard to tell. Truth may be hard to accept. I'll take the sting of truth over the sweet taste of lies any day! The truth of the matter is, though, many don't feel the same way I do. Many would rather be lied to. Their relative world is right and acceptable to them. If they were to know the truth, they may very well not know how to handle it. 

The rationale for lying that angers me most are manipulation and deception. These are the sources of lies I have been most often confronted with in my life. If I sense manipulation or deception, I instinctively harden and rebel. I do not need to be told what to do, where to go, how, when, and why. 

Why would I need that? Because I don't know better? If I knew better, I wouldn't make the right decision? "Your" decision? Or, maybe if I am left to my own, I would make decisions that would interfere with what "you" are doing?

Not only am I referring to lies on a micro level, but on a macro level as well. Consider if there is anything in your life you do although you have no idea why you do it. What are you partaking of? What are you contributing to? What are you condoning or supporting? Are you sure what you know is accurate, or is it enough for you to continue? 

Maybe you'd rather not know at all? 

What Can A Double Standard Reveal to You?

Who doesn't like Christmas? All the stories, bullshit, and myths aside, who doesn't?  Even if the season brings bad memories or hard times, there is something about Christmas that has everyone yearning to take part. The lights are beautiful; decorations, as well as the tree. It feels good to give, and even better to receive. The food is specially made and delicious. The music is most often corny, but upbeat and heart-warming. All of this is exponentially heightened when shared with family, friends, and loved ones.

Let me take a minute to be honest with you about what happened when all this turned around for me. A couple things happened:

The first Christmas season spent with an ex-fiance of mine (2006), shocked him to disappointment and disbelief. My children did not believe in Santa Claus. He reacted as though I was the worst parent in the world. I don't lie to my children because I value trust and honesty. Why lie to them about something that is blatantly not true? Above all, why have them, basically worship, this obviously false idol? Well, his mission that year was to create a whole Christmas display to have my children experience what they've been lacking in their lives.

While watching television one afternoon around this time, I saw a commercial. You may remember it. It featured a whole list of celebrities, I can specifically remember one being Santana, telling children Santa Claus is real. Forget what anyone has told you, he's real.

The famous argument I've heard over and over again is that it is the origin of a child's imagination. If you keep a child from believing in Santa Claus, you are guilty of destroying a child's imagination. 

I was offended in two ways: as a mother, and as a believer in God. You may not believe in God, and that is OK. It is not crucial for you to acknowledge the point I want to make. 

As a mother, there are people telling my children that what I tell them is a lie. Fortunately, we have a special bond that I attribute to the level of honesty I share with them, so it is not a huge problem. But, as a member of society, this offended me greatly. 

As a believer in God, there are people willing to force my children into believe in something that is completely and undeniably false, using "imagination" as a defense. All year long I hear of people offended by "God" being used here and there; offended by the mere presence of a believer. A belief that has some validity to it since we are human, and humans have a spiritual nature. (If you think different, I welcome you to share that with me in the comments.) 

Double standards cause me to be very curious: Why? Why is it acceptable to believe in Santa Claus, but condemnable to believe in God? Food for thought. 

Lurking

Even in shadows, evil lurks. Behind curtains, one would rather not see.

True faces only surface when provoked.

Masks come off, when you step outta line.

They won’t let their true form be known. They won’t give up the act, won’t give up the power.

Their comforting masks make it all seem unreal. The scene they display shows no sign for alarm.

But I can still feel it. Lurking. In those shadows.

More and more people are becoming aware. They see it too.

Some are taken in and disappear. Others, overloaded with the burden of survival. Most, distracted and entertained.

One day though, those curtains will be thrown down. Gradually, they’re allowing their masks to slide off.

I wonder how many will be in denial. How many will still be seduced by their words. How many will benefit.

But I see it.

Why wait until it’s at my door step? 

How can I turn away as it takes my loved ones?

Distracted, entertained, overworked.

Just don’t step outta line.

Written August 12, 2012. 

The Coveted Era

I am in the middle of writing an autobiographical book concentrating on my teenage years. At 15 years old I had my first son and my second at 17. Dwelling on all that happened back then, something came to mind. 

As adolescents we are highly emotional, the most emotional we get in our whole lives. And this is the era of our lives that our society glorifies and covets. I have to wonder: Why?

The father of my sons, when I met him, was 18 years old and I was 14. I've known and heard of bigger gaps in age, and it makes me angry. My mother has told me she allowed the relationship because I seemed mature enough to know what I wanted. The first thing that comes to my mind now that I am a mother is, what would an 18 year old want with a 14 year old? Please consider this. 

What is mature about allowing my emotions to dictate what I do and how I do it? What is mature about becoming pregnant at an age where my future depends so much on that time of my life? But, on the other hand, isn't sex what makes one an adult? Sex is what allows us to be accepted? Isn't that what is shown to our youth?  

On one side we have young adults with high flying emotions, and on the other we have adults indulging in high flying emotions. Often times harmless, but other times it is the opposite. I am not going to point fingers at any situations trying to convince you because I am sure the majority has lived it for themselves. 

I have mentioned before and consistently will, that our emotions are tools in manipulation and deception. On top of that, sex is the weakest link. As an increasing amount of teens are becoming young parents, couples are spending years in irrational relationships, marriages and families are breaking; the more "they" have an advantage over us. Another way to diminish our numbers.

I love my children. Things have been difficult, but I believe they make me so much better than I could have been on my own. They deserve so much more. Had things been different: had I been exposed to positive influences and given practical direction, I could have been much more and able to offer so much more to them. Had the adults I was entrusted to had truly loved me and wanted the best for me, they would not have allowed me to trip over my own shoe strings. 

Adults that encourage, support, and guide our youth to develop into their potential is what is needed now. Not just the youth that are exceptional and stand out, but most importantly, those who are overlooked.  

Direction. Guidance. Mentorship.

From my perspective, I believe emphasis is put on the importance of having someone fulfill something within us, and the lie of how sex is the active ingredient. I believe this to be a major distraction and stumbling block, of course, strategically imposed. Our youth contains within themselves massive potential. Raising a child takes much dedication, effort, and attention; unless there is a solid support system, the result is to settle for what pays. And with that, another one becomes enslaved to the system.